Karen and I just had a baby! Jude Mouser arrived at 8:58am. He was born 8 pounds and 15 ounces after 36 hours of labor by my wife, Karen. I will get to know Jude soon enough, and of course I love what I know of him so far. What I watched my wife do though is what made me weep.
After being in labor for 30 hours with moderate contractions occurring every 1 - 6 minutes, Karen finally transitioned into “major” labor (the transition into the birth canal, and the push with all your might till baby arrives period of labor; the part where women say they want to die, they scream lots, and so forth). By the time she arrived at this intense phase of birth she had not slept in 40+ hours. She had been in labor, breathing through contractions for 30 hours. She was running on reserves to say the least. The baby would not be born for another six hours. During that time I would witness the most significant physical feat I have ever seen.
From 3am to 9am, I watched my wife push herself into and through exhaustion over and over. I watched her become terrified, and then find the strength from somewhere within to continue. I was helpless as I watched. She was powerful. Monumentally so.
With each contraction the directive was given, "give it your hardest push yet"…over and over and over. Each time, I held her body as it rose up and shook violently in order to accomplish that challenge...then stopped...gasping, shaking, moaning, then falling limp for a moment. A variation of this was repeated every 1 - 5 minutes for five hours with little visible progress. She endured.
The final three hours of labor she was falling asleep between each contraction. During this time she was woken by her team (myself, our midwives, and the Kaiser nurse) as each new contraction arrived. We encouraged her by shouting, whispering, running fingers through her hair, giving her ice chips, and any other means we could think of to keep her going.
After 34 hours of laboring she was near exhaustion. Doctors came in and said they would soon be considering additional interventions (forceps, vacuum) in order to deliver the baby. She continued to push. Never complaining, never asking for pain meds, never fearful, just continuing.
Approximately 15 minutes before Jude was born it became apparent that Karen might actually accomplish this birth without intervention...and more crazy, without any pain medication! I was able to let my guard down a bit and I wept. I could not hold in my emotion any longer after watching Karen hurl herself at this birth again and again; finding more strength inside her then I have ever seen in a person. Her lips, indeed her entire head and chest, turned blue each time she pushed Jude from her body. Her lips rarely turned back to red, but rather stayed blue as she rested. Her body was covered with sweat. She would collapse, and do it all again, and again, and again.
I thought to myself, “this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen”. I have never seen another person do what she did. I could not dream of doing it myself. This was not simply child birth. It was my wife, Karen Darr in her most pure state: relentless pursuer, dogged to the last breath, to get whatever it is that is on her mind...fortunately, for us this was Jude!
